Garden of Eden Part 224

How do we know that Adam and Eve were married?

They were alone and naked in the Garden of Eden and the only thing that tempted them was a piece of fruit.

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Scripture portrays the tragic consequences of this first disobedience. Adam and Eve immediately lose the grace of original holiness. They become afraid of the God of whom they have conceived a distorted image-that of a God jealous of his perogatives. (Catholic Catechism Par. 399)

The harmony in which they had found themselves, thanks to original justice, is now destroyed: the control of the soul's spiritual faculties over the body is shattered; the union of man and woman becomes subject to tensions, their relations henceforth marked by lust and domination. Harmony with creation is broken: visible creation has become alien and hostile to man. Because of man, creation is now subject "to its bondage to decay." Finally, the consequence explicitly foretold for this obedience will come true: man will "return to the ground," for out of it he was taken. Death makes its entrance into human history. (Catholic Cathecism Par. 400)

Last Wishes

A man told his wife that he would like to be cremated and that his ashes should be spread around the floor of Dooley's Pub.

"Now why would you want that?" asked his wife. "I was just thinking," said the man, "that way the kids would finally visit me once a week."

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For the Christian, the day of death inaugurates, at the end of his sacramental life, the fulfillment of his new birth at Baptism, the definitive "conformity" to "the image of the Son" conferred by the annointing of the Holy Spirit, and the participation in the feast of the Kingdom which was anticipated in the Eucharist-even if final purifications are still necessary for him in order to be clothed with the nuptial garment. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1682)

The Church who, as Mother, has borne the Christian sacramentally in her womb during his earthly pilgrimage, accompanies him at his journey's end, in order to surrender him "into the Father's hands." She offers to the Father, in Christ, the child of his grace, and she commits to the earth, in hope, the seed of the body that will rise in glory. This offering is fully celebrated in the Eucharist sacrifice; the blessings before and after Mass are sacramentals. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1683)

The New Math

An athiest had a son who got terrible grades in math. No one in the public schools could help the boy, so in desperation, the athiest enrolled his son in the Catholic school.

On the first day, the boy came home from school and spent three hours in his room studying math. The boy was even studying math at the breakfast table, so the athiest asked his son, "What made you study so much? Is it the small class size or the personal attention you are getting?"

The boy replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign on the wall, I knew these people mean business!"

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"And I, when I am lifed up from the earth, will draw all men to myself." The lifting up of Jesus on the cross signifies and announces his lifting up by his Ascension into heaven, and indeed begins it. Jesus Christ, the one priest of the new and eternal Covenant, "entered, not into a sanctuary made by human hands...but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf." There Christ permanently exercises his priesthood, for he "always lives to make intercession" for "those who draw near to God through him." As "high priest of the good things to come" he is the center and the principal actor of the liturgy that honors the Father in heaven. (Catholic Catechism Par. 662)

Something to Live For

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well..are you religious or athiest?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God, or are you Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original BAptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

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In fact, "in this one and only Church of God from its very beginnings there arose certain rifts, which the Apostle strongly censures as damnable. But in subsequent centuries much more serious dissensions appeared and large communities became separated from full communion with the Catholic Church-for which, often enough, men of both sides were to blame." The ruptures that wound the unity of Christ's Body-here we must distinguish heresy, apostasy, and schism-do not occur without human sin: Where there are sins, there are also divisions, schisms, heresies, and disputes. Where there is virtue, however, there also are harmony and unity, from which arise the one heart and one soul of all believers. (Catholic Catechism Par. 818)

Man's Best Friend

A priest came upon a group of boys standing around a dog. "Hey, boys," he said, "What are you doing to that dog?"

"Nothing, Father." One replied. "He's a stray and we all want him. We decided whoever could tell the best lie, could keep him."

At that, the priest launched into a 5 minute homily on the sin of lying. He concluded by saying, "When I was your age. I never told a lie."

The boys stood silent with their heads held down and the priest felt that he had touched the boys' hearts. Then the youngest boy looked around and said, "OK. Father gets the dog."

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All men are implicated in Adam's sin, as St. Paul affirms: "By one man's disobedience many [that is, all men] were made sinners.": "sin came into the world through one man and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all men sinned...." The Apostle contrasts the universality of sin and death with the universality of salvation in Christ. "Then as one man's trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one man's act of righteousness lead to acquittal and life for all men." (Catholic Catechism Par. 402)

How did the sin of Adam become the sin of all his descendants? The whole human race is in Adam "as one body of one man." By this "unity of the human race" all men are implicated in Adam's sin, as all are implicated in Christ's justice. Still, the transmission of original sin is a mystery that we cannot fully understand. But we do know by Revelation that Adam had received original holiness and justice not for himself alone, but for all human nature. By yielding to the tempter, Adam and Eve committed a personal sin, but this sin affected the human nature that they would then transmit in a fallen state. It is a sin which will be transmitted by propagation of a human nature deprived of original holiness and justice. And that is why original sin is called "sin" only in an analogical sense: it is a sin "contracted" and not "committed" -a state and not an act. (Catholic Catechism Par. 404)

Ask and You Shall Receive - Part 2

A man was able to speak to God and he asked, "God, is it true that a million years are in your eyes like a second?" God answered, "Yes, that is true."

The man continued, "So, God, is a million dollars in your eyes like a penny?" God answered, "Yes, that is true, too."

The man asked, "God, could you give me a penny?"

God answered, "Sure. In a second."

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God transcends all creatures. We must therefore continually purify our language of everythng in it that is limited, imagebound, or imperfect, if we are not to confuse our image of God- "the inexpressible, the incomprehensible, the invisible, the ungraspable"-with our human representations. Our human words always fall short of the mystery of God. (Catholic Catechism Par. 42)

Admittedly, in speaking about God like this, our language is using human modes of expression; nevertheless it really does attain to God himself, though unable to express him in his infinite simplicity. Likewise, we must recall that "between Creator and creature no similitude can be expressed without implying an even greater dissimilitude"; and that "concerning God, we cannot grasp what his is, but only what he is not, and how other beings stand in relation to him." (Catholic Catechism Par. 43

The Church Empties - Part 2

The church was packed one Sunday morning. Right before the time for the worship to start, two men entered the back of the church, dressed in long black coats and wearing dark sunglasses. They walked to the front of the church and pulled out semi-automatic weapons. Then they announced, "Anyone who wants to take a bullet for Jesus, stay here."

At that, the church emptied, including the deacons and acolytes. The two men, dressed in black, sat down in the front row and said, "OK, pastor. Now that the hypocrites are gone, let's start."

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Martyrdom is the supreme witness given to the truth of the faith: it means bearing witness even unto death. The martyr bears withness to Christ who died and rose, to whom he is united by charity. He bears witness to the truth of the faith and of Christian doctrine. He endures death through an act of fortitude. "Let me become the food of the beasts, through whom it will be given me to reach God." (Catholic Catechism Par. 2473)

A Final Blessing

The pastor emeritus was on his deathbed and he called for two of the long serving ushers to visit him. For thirty years the priest had served the parish, and all through that time, the two ushers had handled the Sunday collections.

The ushers entered the pastor's room, and the pastor held up his hands for each one to hold. After 15 minutes of holding the priest's hands, one asked the pastor, "Of all your parishioners, why did you send for us?" The pastor opened his eyes and said, "Jesus died between two thieves. I thought I'd like to go the same way."

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The cross is the unique sacrifice of Christ, the "one mediator between God and men." But because in his incarnate divine person he has in some way united himself to every man, "the possiblity of being made partners, in a way known to God, in the paschal mystery" is offered to all men. He calls his disciples to "take up [their] cross and follow [him]," for "Christ also suffered for [us], leaving [us] an example so that [we] shold follow in his steps." In fact Jesus desires to associate with his redeeming sacrifice those who were to be its first beneficiaries. That is achieved supremely in the case of his mother, who was associated more intimately than any other person in the mystery of his redemptive suffering.

Apart from the cross there is no ladder by which we may get to heaven. (Catholic Catechism Par. 618)

Let Every Tongue Proclaim

A man became lost in the desert and was saved when he found the cabin of a missionary. After being nursed back to health, the man asked if he could borrow the missionary's horse to ride to town, so that he might call his family.

The missionary readily agreed, but noted, "The usual commands don't work with my horse. Instead of "Giddyup" you have to say "Thank God." And instead of "Whoa" you have to say "Amen."

Half listening, the man mounted the horse and said "Thank God." The horse began to walk toward the town. Later, the man said "Thank God" and the horse began to trot. So, once more, he said, "Thank God" and the horse began to gallop.

The man noticed that they were heading for a cliff, so he said "Whoa" to no avail. At last he remembered to say "Amen" and the horse stopped just three feet from the cliff.

Relieved, the man looked up to the sky and said, "Thank God."

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In the living tradition of prayer, each Church proposes to its faithful, according to its historic, social, and cultural context, a language for prayer: words, melodies, gestures, iconography. The Magisterium of the Church has the task of discerning the fidelity of these ways of praying to the tradition of apostolic faith; it is for pastors and catechists to explain their meaning, always in relation to Jesus Christ. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2663)

There is no other way of Christian prayer than Christ. Whether our prayer is communal or personal, vocal or interior, it has access to the Father only if we pray "in the name" of Jesus. The sacred humanity of Jesus is therefore the way by which the Holy Spirit teaches us to pray to God our Father. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2664)

Giveth and Taketh

After the Creation, the angels approached God and asked, "Why did you decide to favor the Jews so much? They'll have a land of milk and honey, filled with dates and olives and pomegranetes. They'll have Nobel prize winners and scientists far out of proportion to their numbers."

God looked at the angels and replied, "Wait until you see their neighbors."

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After the patriarchs, God formed Israel as his people by freeing them from slavery in Egypt. He established with them the covenant of Mount Sinai and, through Moses, gave them his law so that they would recognize him and serve him as the one living and true God, the provident Father and just judge, and so that they would look for the promised Savior. (Catholic Catechism Par. 62)

Israel is the priestly people of God, "called by the name of the LORD," and "the first to hear the word of God," the people of "elder brethren" in the faith of Abraham. (Catholic Catechism Par. 63)

Family Familiarity

Satan appeared in church one day and everyone fled. All except for one man who remained seated.

Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?"

The man replied, "I know who you are. I married your sister 25 years ago."

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Behind the disobedient choice of our first parents lurks a seductive voice, opposed to God, which makes them fall into death out of envy. Scripture and the Church's Tradition see in the being a fallen angel, called "Satan" or the "devil." The Church teaches that Satan was at first a good angel, made by God: "The devil and other demons were indeed creaed naturally good by God, but they became evil by their own doing." (Catholic Catechism Par. 391)

The power of Satan is, nonetheless, not infinite. He is only a creature, powerful from the fact that he is pure spirit, but still a creature. He cannot prevent the building up of God's reign. Although Satan may act in the world out of hatred for God and his kingdom in Christ Jesus, and although his action may cause grave injuries-of a spiritual nature and, indirectly, even of a physical nature-to each man and to society, the action is permitted by divine providence which with stength and gentleness guides human and cosmic history. It is a great mystery that providence should permit diabolical activity, but "we know that in everything God works for good with those who love him." (Catholic Catechism Par. 395)

They Also Serve

The theme of the homily was "Joining the Army of God." At the back of the church, the pastor told one man that he needed to join the Army of God. The man replied that he was already a member.

The pastor said, "Then why do I only see you at Christmas and Easter." The man smiled and said, "I'm in the Secret Service."

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The celebration of Sunday observes the moral commandment inscribed by nature in the human heart to render to God an outward, visible, public, and regular worship "as a sign of his universal beneficence to all." Sunday worship fulfills the moral command of the Old Covenant, taking up its rhythm and spirit in the weekly celebration of the Creator and Redeemer of his people. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2176)

The Sunday celebration of the Lord's Day and his Eucharist is at the heart of the Church's life. "Sunday is the day on which the paschal mystery is celebrated in light of the apostolic tradition and is to be observed as the foremost holy day of obligation in the universal Church.

Also to be observed are the day of the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Epiphany, the Ascension of Christ, the feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, the feast of Mary the Mother of God, her Immaculate Conception, her Assumption, the feast of Saint Joseph, the feast of the Apostles Saints Peter and Paul, and the feast of All Saints. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2177)

Exaggeration for Effect

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."

Winston Churchill: "Lady Astor, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

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Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2280)

If suicide is committed with the intention of seting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law. Grave psychological distrubances, anguish, or the grave fear of hardship, suffereing, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. (CAtholic Catechism Par. 2282)

Brotherly Remembrances

A man walked into a bar and ordered three shots of Irish whiskey. The bartender started to pour them into one glass, but the man insisted on having three separate shot glasses. He then sipped from each in turn over the next half hour until they were empty.

Every week, the man followed the same ritual until the bartender asked him why he drank out of three glasses. "I've got two brothers and we used to have a drink together once a week." he said. "Now one is in Ireland and one is in Australia. This is my glass and the other two glasses are my brothers'. I've decided to do this in order to share a drink with them as if they were still here."

The bartender observed this every week and always noted what a wonderful moment it was. But one day the man arrived and only asked for two glasses. The bartender poured them, and then became concerned that something had happened to one of the brothers. He said, "I'm so sorry about your loss." The man was confused by this comment, until the bartender noted that since the man had only ordered two drinks, something must have happened to one of the brothers.

"Oh, that!" said the man. "They are both well and these are their glasses. It's just that I've given up drinking for Lent."

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The Church, especially during Advent and Lent and above all at the Easter Vigil, re-reads and re-lives the great events of salvation history in the "today" of her liturgy. But this also demands that the catechisis help the faithful to open themselves to this spirtiual understanding of the economy of salvation as the Church's liturgy reveals it and enables us to live it. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1095)

The assembly should prepare itself to encounter the Lord and to become "a people well disposed." The preparation of hearts is the joint work of the Holy Spirit and the assembly, especially of its ministers. The grace of the Holy Spirit seeks to awaken faith, conversion of the heart, and adherence to the Father's will. These dispositions are the precondition both for the reception of other graces conferred in the celebration itself and the fruits of new life which the celebration is intended to produce afterward. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1098)

Not Exactly

A man came stumbling out of a bar and bumped into two priests. One of the priests said, "Sir, what is your name and where do you live?" The man said, "I'm Jesus Christ." The priests looked at each other, smiled, and one said "I don't think that's right. You've had too much to drink."

"You're wrong," said the barfly. "Let me prove it to you." He grabbed each of the priests by the elbow and took them back into the bar.

When they got through the door, the bartender looked up and said, "Jesus Christ! Are you back here again?"

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The second commandment forbids the abuse of God's name, i.e. every improper use of the names of God, Jesus Christ, but also of the Virgin Mary and all the saints. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2146)

Purgatory

The tour guide at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York pointed to the ceiling and the row of red hats hanging there. "Those are the scarlet galeros of the cardinals who have served this Cathedral," he said to the group. "There is a belief among the faithful that when galero of a cardinal falls, it signifies that his soul has gone to heaven."

"When was the last time that one fell?" asked a boy. "Oh," said the tour guide, "we've never had one fall."

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All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1030)

The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification fo the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned. The Church formulated her doctrine on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire:

As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1031)

Respect Your Elders

One day a roofer noticed an old lady sit down on a chair outside of the house he was roofing where she began to say the rosary. He decided to have some fun, so he called down, "Hey lady, this is Jesus. What do you want?" The old lady ignored him, so he called down again, "I said, this is Jesus. What do you want?"

Still no response from the old woman. When the roofer tried one more time, the lady looked up and said, "Will you be quiet? I'm talking to your mother."

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"This motherhood of Mary in the order of grace continues uninterruptedly from the consent which she loyally gave at the Annunciation and which she sustained without wavering beneath the cross, until the eternal fulfilment of all the elect. Taken up to heaven she did not lay aside this saving office but by her manifold intercession continues to bring us the gifts of eternal salvation...Therefore the Blessed Virgin is invoked in the Church under the titles of Advocate, Helper, Benefactress, and Mediatrix." (Catholic Catechism Par 969)

"Mary's function as mother of men in no way obscures or diminishes this unique mediation of Christ, but rather shows its power. But the Blessed Virgin's salutary influence on men...flows forth from the superabundance of the merits of Christ, rests on his mediation, depends entirely on it, and draws all its power from it." "No creature could be counted along with the Incarnate Word and the Redeemer; but just as the priesthood of Christ is shared in various ways both by his ministers and the faithful, and as the one goodness of God is radiated in different ways among his creatures, so also the unique mediation of the Redeemer does not exclude but rather gives rise to a maniford cooperation which is but a sharing in this one source." Catholic Catechism Par. 970)

If Today You Heard His Voice....

Jesus walked into a bar and sat down. The other patrons noticed Jesus and each decided to buy him a drink.

After he was finished, Jesus walked over to thank the patrons for their generosity and asked each if there was something they needed. The first said he was still grieving the death of his mother. So Jesus put his hand on the man and he was relieved of his anguish. The second said he was suffering from cancer. So Jesus put his hand on that man and he was cured.

As Jesus walked up to the third man, the man jumped away and said, "Don't touch me, Jesus. I'm on disability."

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Human work proceeds directly from the persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation by subduing the earth, both with and for one another. Hence work is a duty: "If any one will not work, let him not eat." Work honors the Creator's gifts and the talents received from him. It can also be redemptive. By enduring the hardship of work in union with Jesus, the carpenter of Nazateth and the one crucified on Calvary, man collaborates in a certain fashion with the Son of God in his redemptive work. He shows himself to be a disciple of Christ by carryng the cross, daily, in the work he is called to accomplish. Work can be a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2427)

Spellcheck Manuscripts

Cardinal Arinze reached the age of 80 and was required to retire. He asked the pope if he could remain at the Vatican and work in the Vatican Library reading the old manuscripts. He had been so busy during his long service to the Church that he never had the time to just read the treasures that were stored there.

One day, the pope was walking through the Vatican Library when he noticed Cardinal Arinze sitting at a desk crying uncontrollably. The pope finally got the crying stopped and asked Arinze what was wrong. Arinze lifted up the manuscript in front of and said, "We've gotten it wrong all these years. Its celebrate, CELEBRATE!"

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All of the ordained ministers of the Latin Church, with the exception of permanent deacons, are normally chosen from among men of faith who live a celebate life and who intend to remain celibate "for the sake of the kingdom of heaven." Called to consecrate themselves with undivided heart to the Lord and to "the affairs of the Lord" they give themselves entirely to God and to men. Celibacy is a sign of this new life to the service of which the Church's minister is consecrated: accepted with a joyous heart celibacy radiantly proclaims the Reign of God. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1579)

In the Eastern Churches a different discipline has been in force for many centuries: while bishops are chosen solely from among celibates, married men can be ordained as deacons and priests. This practice has long been considered legitimate; these priests exercise a fruitful ministry within their communities. Moreover, priestly celibacy is held in great honor in the Eastern Church and many priests have freely chosen it for the sake of the Kingdom of God. In the East as in the West a man who has already received the sacrament of Holy Orders can no longer marry. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1580)

Respect for the Dead

A man was playing golf when, in mid-swing, he noticed a funeral procession passing by. He stopped his swing, closed his eyes and bowed his head in prayer. His friend noticed this and said, "That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The golfer looked at his friend and said, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

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It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who with God's grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1648)

Ask and You Shall Receive

One day Johnny and his grandmother were walking along the beach when a giant wave came ashore and swept Johnny away. Johnny's grandmother fell to her knees and wailed, "O Lord, please return him. Johnny is all that I have left in this world. Please send him back and I'll be sure to go to Mass every day for the rest of my life."

Just then a whale surfaced above the water carrying Johnny. The whale carefully placed Johnny on the beach and then swam away. Johnny's grandmother hugged Johnny and looked up to the sky and said, "You know, he had a hat."

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Why do we complain of not being heard? In the first place, we ought to be astonished by this fact: when we praise God or give him thanks for his benefits in general, we are not particularly concerned whether or not our prayer is acceptable to him. On the other hand, we demand to see the results of our petitions. What is the image of God that motivates our prayer: an instrument to be used? or the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ? (Catholic Catechism Par. 2735)

Are we concerned that "we do not know how to pray as we ought"? Are we asking God for "what is good for us"? Our Father knows what we need before we ask him, but he awaits our petition because the dignity of his children lies in their freedom. We must pray, then, with his Spirit of freedom, to be able truly to know what he wants. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2736)

Family Advice

First cannibal: "Gee, my mother-in-law sure is tough."

Second cannibal: "Well, just eat the noodles."

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The bodies of the dead must be treated with respect and charity, in faith and hope of the Resurrection. The burial of the dead is a corporal work of mercy; it honors the children of God, who are temples of the Holy Spirit. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2300)

Autopsies can be morally permitted for legal inquests or scientific research. The free gift of organs after death is legitimate and can be meritorious. The Church permits cremation, provided that it does not demonstrate a denial of faith in the resurrection of the body. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2301)

A Fine Sermon

The pastor began to greet the congregation at the back of the church after Mass. One man came out and told the pastor, "That was a damn fine sermon, Pastor." The pastor shook the man's hand and said, "I thank you for the compliment, but not the language."

The man continued, "Yes, sir. That was such a damn fine sermon that I put a check for $1,000 into the collection basket." The priest put his arm around the man's shoulders and said, "The hell you say!"

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Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

-by participating, directly and voluntarily in them;
-by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
-by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
-by protecting evil-doers. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1868)

Sins of Omission

The teacher asked the class, "Does anyone know what sins of omission are?" Little Sarah raised her and and said, "Those are the sins we should have committed but didn't."

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Sins can be distinguished according to their objects, as can every human act; or according to the virtues they oppose, by excess or defect; or according to the commandments they violate. They can be classed according to whether they concern God, neighbor, or oneself; they can be divided into spiritual and carnal sins, or again as sins in thought, word, deed, or omission. The root of sin is in the heart of man, in his free will, according to the teaching of the Lord: "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man." But in the heart also resides charity, the source of the good and pure works, which sin wounds. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1853)

Judgment Day Part 4224

At the pearly gates, St. Peter was reminding those in line of their earthly vices. To one man, he said, "You were such a drunk, that you even married a woman named Sherry." To another man, he said, "You were so fat, that you even married a woman named Bonbon."

At that point, a lawyer grabbed his wife's hand and said, "Let's get out of here, Penny."

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Vices can be classified according to the virtues they oppose, or also be linked to the capital sins which Christian experience has distinguished, folowing St. John Cassian and St. Gregory the Great. They are called "capital" because they engender other sins, other vices. They are pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth or acedia. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1866)

Playing Hooky on Sunday

A priest decided one Sunday morning that he'd rather play golf than spend the morning in church. So he called his backup and claimed that he was sick, so that his Masses would be covered. Then he headed out to the golf course.

This was noticed in heaven. St. Peter said, "Will you look at that?" One of our priests is playing hooky? What are you going to do?" he said to Jesus. The priest got the the first hole and hit his drive. The ball sailed straight and true, landed on the green and took one bounce right into the hole. The priest hollared and jumped up and down.`

"Ah, look at that!" moaned St. Peter. "Are you going to let him get away with that?"

Jesus replied, "Don't worry. Who is he going to be able to tell?"

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The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor. Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2181)

Earthly Possessions

Once there was a man who loved gold. His most prized possessions were the three gold bars he had accumulated by selling all his other possessions and converting them to gold. This man carried these gold bars with him everywhere in a briefcase.

It happened that the man died, but he refused to go to heaven without his briefcase. After a delay, an angel got permission for the man to take his briefcase with him. At the pearly gates, St. Peter stopped him and said, "You can't bring anything from Earth with you up here." The man patiently explained that he had permission to do so. St. Peter checked out the man's story, but told him that he was required to inspect the contents of the briefcase.

When St. Peter opened the briefcase, he looked at the man and said, "You brought pavement?"


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By his death and Resurrection, Jesus Christ has "opened" heaven to us. The life of the blessed consists in the full and perfect possession of the fruits of the redemption accomplished by Christ. He makes partners in his heavenly glorification those who have believed in him and remained faithful to his will. Heaven is the blessd community of all who are perfectly incorporated into Christ. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1026)

This mystery of blessed communion with God and all who are in Christ is beyond all understanding and description. Scripture speaks of it in images: life, light, peace, wedding feast, wine of the kingdom, the Father's house, the heavenly Jerusalem, paradise: "no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him." (Catholic Catechism Par. 1028)

Picture This

The first grade religion class began to draw pictures of heaven. The teacher asked one girl what she was drawing and the girl said, "I'm drawing God the Father." The teacher replied, "No one knows what God looks like." To which the girl responded, "They will in a minute."

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The sacred image, the liturgical icon, principally represents Christ. It cannot represent the invisible and incomprehensible God, but the incarnation of the Son of God has ushered in a new "economy" of images: "Previously God, who has neither a body nor a face, absolutely could not be represented by an image. But now that he has made himself visible in the flesh and has lived with men, I can make an image of what I have seen of God...and contemplate the glory of the Lord, his face unveiled." (Catholic Catechism Par. 1159)

Nice Shot

Jesus went out golfing one day. On the first hole, Jesus hit a drive straight at the pin. The ball made one bounce and popped right into the hole. Jesus's companion then readied his shot. But that drive sliced away into the rough where it happened to hit a large tree root and bounce up into the air. As the ball started falling, it landed on the back of a passing bird, which shook it off right over the green. Just then a strong wind hit the course and the wind drove the ball into the hole. Jesus turned to his companion and said, "Nice shot, Dad."

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Scripture and Tradition never cease to teach and celebrate this fundamental truth: "The world was made for the glory of God." St. Bonaventure explains that God created all things "not to increase his glory, but to show it forth and to communicate it," for God has no other reason for creating than his love and goodness: "Creatures came into existence when the key of love opened his hand." (Catholic Catechism Par. 293)

Baptizing the Dog

A man walked into the rectory to meet with the priest and register in the parish. After he provided the priest with his information, he said, "Father, I'd like to get my dog baptized." The priest laughed and said, "You're kidding. You know we don't do that. Go down to the Episcopal Church, where they might go for that sort of thing."

The man continued, "Father, I am very fond of my dog. Did I say that I was going to make a contribution to the parish in the amount of $10,000 after the baptism." "For crying out loud, man," replied the priest, "Why didn't you tell me that your dog was a Catholic?"

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Simony is defined as the buying and selling of spritual things. To Simon the magician, who wanted to buy the spiritual power he saw at work in the apostles, St. Peter responded: "Your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain God's gift with money!" Peter thus held to the word of Jesus: "You received without pay, give without pay." It is impossible to appropriate to oneself spiritual goods and behave toward them as their owner or master, for they have their source in God. One can receive them only from him, without payment. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2121)

"The minister should ask nothing for the administration of the sacraments beyond the offerings defined by competent authority, always being careful that the needy are not deprived of the help of the sacraments because of their poverty." The competent authority determines these "offerings" in accordance with the principle that the Christian people ought to contribute to the support of the Church's ministers. "The laborer deserves his food." (Catholic Catechism Par. 2122)

Finding a Parking Place

Jackie was almost late for her job interview. She pulled into the parking lot, but just her luck, there were no parking places available. She circled the lot once and started to pray. "Lord, you know how important this job is to me. You know how much I need this job to keep our house. If you help me find a parking place, I'll say a rosary for world peace every day."

Just then, Jackie noticed a minivan backing out of a spot up ahead of her. She peeked up at the sky and said, "Don't bother. I just found one myself."

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The vocabulary of supplication in the New Testament is rich in shades of meaning: ask, beseech, plead, invoke, entreat, cry out, even "struggle in prayer." Its most usual form, because the most spontaneous, is petition: by prayer of petition we express awareness of our relationship with God. We are creatures who are not our own beginning, not the masters of adversity, not our own last end. We are sinners who as Christians know that we have already turned away from our Father. Our petition is already a turning back to him. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2629)