Baptizing the Dog

A man walked into the rectory to meet with the priest and register in the parish. After he provided the priest with his information, he said, "Father, I'd like to get my dog baptized." The priest laughed and said, "You're kidding. You know we don't do that. Go down to the Episcopal Church, where they might go for that sort of thing."

The man continued, "Father, I am very fond of my dog. Did I say that I was going to make a contribution to the parish in the amount of $10,000 after the baptism." "For crying out loud, man," replied the priest, "Why didn't you tell me that your dog was a Catholic?"

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Simony is defined as the buying and selling of spritual things. To Simon the magician, who wanted to buy the spiritual power he saw at work in the apostles, St. Peter responded: "Your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain God's gift with money!" Peter thus held to the word of Jesus: "You received without pay, give without pay." It is impossible to appropriate to oneself spiritual goods and behave toward them as their owner or master, for they have their source in God. One can receive them only from him, without payment. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2121)

"The minister should ask nothing for the administration of the sacraments beyond the offerings defined by competent authority, always being careful that the needy are not deprived of the help of the sacraments because of their poverty." The competent authority determines these "offerings" in accordance with the principle that the Christian people ought to contribute to the support of the Church's ministers. "The laborer deserves his food." (Catholic Catechism Par. 2122)