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Human Life

A scientist and God were discussing the new developments in science one day. The scientist got so carried away with all the new genetic discoveries that he said, "Scientists can now create human life. We don't need God's involvement." Well, God and the scientist decided to have a contest over who could create the best human.

The scientist went first. He went into his back yard and picked up some dirt. Just then, a lightening bolt struck nearby and the scientist heard God's voice say, "Get your own dirt!"

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We believe that God needs no pre-existent thing or any help in order to create, nor is creation any sort of necessary emanation from the divine substance. God creates freely "out of nothing": "If God had drawn the world from pre-existent matter, what would be so extraordinary in that? A human artisan makes from a given material whatever he wants, while God shows his power by starting from nothing to make all he wants." (Catholic Catechism Par. 296)

Paint Thinner

A priest was painting his garage when he realized that he did not have enough paint to finish the job. The paint was a gift of a local merchant and he did not want to ask for any more paint. He decided to use some turpentine to thin his paint so he would have enough.

Sure enough, a few hours after he was done, it rained and the thinned paint washed off.

When he went back to the paint store to ask for another gallon of paint, he explained what he had done. The clerk smiled as he handed the priest another gallon, and said, "Repaint, and thin no more."

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Only God forgives sins. Since he is the Son of God, Jesus says of himself, "The Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins" and exercises this divine power: "Your sins are forgiven." Further, by virture of his divine authority he gives this power to men to exercise in his name. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1441)

The Ten Commandments Part 445

A man and his wife were leaving the church when the priest said to the man, "I see your wife every week, but I don't see you that often."

"Don't worry, father," said the man, "we keep the ten commandments."

"Really?" asked the priest.

"Yes we do," said the man. "She keeps six and I keep four."

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The gift of the commandments and of the Law is part of the covenant God sealed with his own. In Exodus, the revelation of the "ten words" is granted between the proposal of the covenant ande its conclusion-after the people had committed themselves to "do" all that the Lord had said, and to "obey" it. The Decalogue is never handed on without first recalling the covenant ("The Lord our God made a covenant with us in Horeb.") (Catholic Catechism Par. 2060)

A Convert

Back when Catholics could not eat meat on any Friday, an atheist lived in a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday night, the athiest would cook a steak on his barbecue. The smell of the barbecue drove the Catholics nuts.

So they decided to convince the athiest that if he lived in a Catholic neighborhood, he had to live as a Catholic. Just to stop him from cooking steaks on Friday.

When the athiest seemed to agree, the neighbors were relieved. They even sprinkled holy water on him and said, "Born an athiest. Raised an athiest. Now a Catholic."

So the next Friday night, the Catholics were astounded to smell steak being cooked from the athiest's yard. They rushed over to confront him about his new dietary obligations when they found him sprinkling holy water over his steak and saying, "Born a cow. Raised a cow. Now a fish."

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Sacramentals are sacred signs instituted by the Church. They prepare men to receive the fruit of the sacrements and sanctify different circumstances of life. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1677)

Among sacramentals, blessings (of persons, meals, objects and places) come first. Every blessing praises God and prays for his gifts. In Christ, Christians are blessed by God the Father "with every spiritual blessing." This is why the Church imparts blessings by invoking the name of Jesus, usually while making the holy sign of the cross of Christ. (Catholic Catechism Par. 1671)

History of Science

1000 B.C. Eat this root.
200 A.D. The root is heathen. Say this prayer.
1400 A.D. The prayer is superstitious. Drink this potion.
1920 A.D. The potion is snake oil. Swallow this pill.
1990 A.D. The pill is ineffective. Take this antibiotic.
2006 A.D. The antibiotic is artificial. Eat this root.

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Basic scientific research, as well as applied research, is a significant expression of man's dominion over creation. Science and technology are precious resources when placed at the service of man and promote his integral development for the benefit of all. By themselves however they cannot disclose the meaning of existence and of human progress. Science and technology are ordered to man, from whom they take their origin and development; hence they find in the person and in his moral values both evidence of their purpose and awareness of their limits. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2293)

It is an illusion to claim moral neutrality in scientific research and its applications. On the other hand, guiding principles cannot be inferred from simple technical efficiency, or from the usefulness accruing to some at the expense of others, or, even worse, from prevailing ideologies. Science and technology by their very nature require unconditional respect for fundamental moral criteria. They must be at the service of the human person, of his inalienable rights, of his true and integral good, in conformity with the plan and will of God. (Catholic Catechism Par. 2294)